“I just need help loosening up my quads.”
That’s what I told my primary care doctor, because, you know, all my extensive medical degrees.
Around the beginning of 2016, I began to notice a tightness in my left leg that had not been there before. It was particularly strange because there was no added pain and seemed to come out of nowhere. But as the year moved into spring, the loss of movement became undeniable, and I finally went to get it checked out. By then my left hip was noticeably less flexible than my right, with some pain - my left hip has always operated somewhat differently, has never been quite as flexible...but now there was an added strangeness about it, because the difference was much more pronounced.
My doctor was reluctant to refer me to a physical therapist without X-rays, but she did, and on we marched. In hindsight, I feel bad for my PT’s who were working in the dark. But I learned a lot from them - I began really noticing my movement patterns in daily life for the first time, for instance, how how my knees turned inward when walking up the stairs. I began spending more time strengthening my abductor and glute muscles and tried out a TENS unit. Then one day while at PT, my quad muscles did feel ‘unlocked’...yet all of a sudden, that quad tightness was replaced by a new, much scarier pain deep in my hip. It was the first time I felt concerned.
Back to the doctor I went, and this time X-rays were in order. When my doctor called, she sounded as shocked as I felt when she told me I had a significant amount of osteoarthritis in my hip. The joint was not bone-on-bone yet, it was surprisingly far along for my age.
So I scheduled an appointment with a hip specialist, and began reading about hip arthroscopies, where they can ‘clean up’ a damaged hip joint: shave off pieces from labrum tears or impingements, smooth out the rough edges so to speak. This is what I thought was in store for me. The news I received, however, was that it was too far gone for an arthroscopy and that nothing else could be done except to get a hip replacement.
What?!? No way.
He must have not realized I was only 38. That I still had a 2-year-old in the house. That I was far too busy for that to be possible. So I went to a second hip specialist, who told me exactly the same thing, only this time, less compassionately. That was that.
This was, essentially, the beginning of a five-year journey of exploration. I was not ready in the slightest for that sort of surgery. I was reluctant for a million reasons, many of which had to do with the fear that I would lose the ability to move my body in all the ways I enjoyed, including running, rock climbing, heavy lifting, and high-impact-type workouts. I felt there had to be more I could do on my own.
Many of you have followed this journey with my hip for years now. You’ve heard firsthand of all the things I’ve experimented with, including but not limited to -
Targeted strength training with Strongfirst trainer Betsie Collie, owner of Rapid Results Fitness, on flexibility, Turkish Get Ups, kettlebell training, etc.,
Chiropractor Jessica Fay, owner of Oak City Chiropractic, where I learned about ART,
Chiropractor Lindsay Mumma, owner of Triangle Chiropractic and Rehabilitation Center, where I learned about how our feet affect everything & worked on my flat feet and gait, among other things,
the world of Feldenkreis, starting with Bob Boyd of Triangle Feldenkreis, as well as books and online sources,
Changing up what I eat and noticing the results it had on my hip. Adding the natural anti-inflammatory curcumin into my diet (thank you, Bettie Lou!), regularly taking vitamins and fish oil, and removing/reducing gluten,
Acupuncture treatments at Triangle Acupuncture,
Yoga classes with the illustrious Jess Fass of Always Evolving Life Health Wellness and others,
‘Natural’, or ‘functional’ movement and lots of mobility work, following groups like MovNat and Movement Parallels Life.
Regular sports massage with Tami Whitehead, where I was regularly reminded/chided for my water intake and the need for more Epson salt baths,
Greater overall movement awareness of how/why we all move like we do, with materials from Chandler Stevens, founder of Ecosomatics,
Foam rolling, foam rolling, foam rolling. So much foam rolling. I now have a certification in foam rolling, because by this point, why not?
I tried some of the above interventions only once or twice; some of them I did for years. Some practices proved to be incredibly helpful for pain management and mobility, and some seemed to make little to no difference at all. And all of it may be totally different for another person’s body in their personal experience, which is a staggeringly beautiful and frustratingly mystifying thing about bodies: just how alike and different we are at the same time.
Then earlier this year I visited Dr. Nathani at the Holistic Vitality Center. I had not done a stellar job in keeping up with any of my hip practices during the dumpster fire of 2020, but I was ready to get back to it. When I discovered Holistic Vitality, I was intrigued that so many of the practices I had found relief with (ie. PT, acupuncture, chiropractor, massage) were integrated under the same roof, done at the same time, so that they all worked together towards one goal.
But that chapter didn’t last long. By the second visit, my (brand new) X-rays had arrived at their office. Dr. Nathani took one look at them and everything changed. She gave me a long and compassionate play-by-play of what she saw in the X-rays, as well as all the ways my left hip was now negatively affecting my pelvis and right hip, essentially beginning to jack up everything. Then she said, “I’ve been in practice for over 20 years, and in that time I’ve only recommended surgery to about 11 people, because there is almost always something else that can be done. But in your case, I think you should go ahead and get the surgery.”
Many people who had gotten hip replacements told me I would just “know” when it was time for me to get one. That was my moment. I mean, when a holistic practitioner tells you it’s time to get surgery, you know the game is up! But it was more than that. By that point, I had altered many things about my everyday life. I spent a hefty amount of time and mental energy on my hip, but now with much less payoff. And the pain and lack of mobility had begun to more deeply affect my quality of life, both physically and mentally. In short, I was weary of working on that puzzle and ready to move on to other things.
So should I have just gone ahead and gotten the surgery five years ago when I was first told I needed one? What was the value in waiting so long?
Wow, it’s tricky, isn’t it? Because there are tradeoffs to every. single. choice. we make.
Here’s what I know -
I was able to avoid surgery & keep my own hip for five more years. That’s no small thing.
I’m a better trainer today because of my hip.
I am a more compassionate person.
I have a much deeper respect for the miracle of our bodies: how they work and move.
I have searched and learned more about injury prevention, corrective exercise, mobility, strength training, alternative practices, and ways of moving than I ever would have before.
Additionally, I have experienced the supreme connection between our minds and bodies, the extent that hope plays in pain and healing, and the deep gratitude I have for compassionate and curious medical providers that come alongside where you are.
So that chapter is complete, and now I am excited to walk down this new road! To be grateful for the opportunity to work with an incredible surgeon and his team and come out on the other side with a wealth of new things to learn about and grow from.
On Monday, September 20, I'll be getting my total hip replacement. The details will unfold as I go, but the recovery time is roughly 6 weeks, give or take. I’ve got a plan in place for online group classes to continue, so if you are looking to jump in this fall, we’d always love to have you! And I’ll resume meeting with in-home training Folks as soon as possible, with a bridge plan until then.
I write all of this in the hope that it may be helpful for someone else who is experiencing any of these same things. At the least, know that you are not alone! At best, maybe some of the things I have explored over the years can be a springboard for you as well.
I also write this in part for my own personal need to process and have a record of the last 5 years. Most of what I wrote above could be bullet-pointed: I did this, then this, then this. But my journey has also been filled with a lot of emotions, both high and low, and a fair amount of sensation, from slightly uncomfortable to ‘can hardly walk’. Lately, it’s been genuinely interesting to see the huge role that hope has played in my journey: now that hope is ‘gone’ (i.e. the hope is now in the surgery vs. my own practices), these last few months have been admittedly, pretty hard. I’ve felt less of a desire to do all of the things I know will help my hip feel better and I have felt more pain, frustration, and annoyance lately which has been difficult to manage. I do believe it’s all part of the process, but it still sucks at the moment. Now that I’ve made the decision for surgery, I’m ready to be on the other side of that decision!
Finally, I write this to say, thank you. There are far too many people to thank for all the years of listening, guidance, and support, but many, MANY of them are Folksters...you know who you are. So thanks to all of you for everything.
Here’s to a life of exploration, experimentation, curiosity, and of course, movement. May we continue to grow, learn, and support one another, and recognize the value of each stage of our journeys.
